I’m Jackie Walker, this blog was previously hosted elsewhere and some of the entries were written as far back as 2007. At the start of 2010, my old site ceased to be and since then I’ve had requests for the information to be reposted …. you’ll notice that this has been done in bulk!
As you read through the site, you’ll notice that many of my posts are geared to relationships themselves … if it weren’t for a relationship problem, there would be no divorce after all, would there? I feel strongly that when we address the cause of the problem rather than focus on what one feels the problem is, then the results are much cleaner, quicker and long lasting.
Why Did I become the Divorce Coach?
I became The Divorce Coach when I found myself coming out of a court room after fighting over custody of our two children. It was probably the scariest experience of my life. I said to my solicitor, I will do my best to help others who are as unprepared as I was to get through this with more information and understanding of themselves and their exes.
That was in 2004 and since then I’ve learned and experienced even more which I think is important to share with folk who are going through this life changing scenario.
Divorce Truths
Each divorce is so individual – the dynamics of the family, the personalities and behaviours of the couple, the beliefs and values which are brought into the equation. Everything is so changeable that it’s almost impossible to create a view of a typical divorce on which to base your own.
The best way to look at it is that your divorce is not like anyone else’s, therefore neither will the solution to it be – by that I mean what you both agree with regards to how to look after your children (if there are any), and how to split up the family’s financial pot.
The solicitors and courts do their best on the scant information they have (literally a snapshot of your life from your biased point of view) – and it must be remembered they are usually working with people who are distraught, desperate and in pain. The reality of the situation isn’t necessarily as the person is making out. The judgement inevitably ends up being a disappointment – there are no winners in divorce. There is no way that a judge can make a win:win situation – that is up to the couple themselves.
I find myself relating equally between men and women – women because I am one, and men because I’m no longer primary carer of my children – a choice my ex and I made together after the court process. Although this is much more common these days, it still takes getting used to by some members of society and family.
I hope you enjoy and learn from what you read, please leave a comment to tell me how you have benefitted from any of the posts.
